Saying “no” gets you a BINGO!

One thing I'm SUPER clear about is the need for steady boundaries in the midst of BIG transitions (consider your own...new school, new job, moving house, welcoming a sibling, surgery, recovery, grief)—and the parenting seasons that accompany life's inevitable shifts.

We often don't give ourselves enough breathing room for changes to settle.

Quiet moments help us integrate them.

One pause at a time.

Today's pause is brought to you by the word "No". As much as I love a "heck yeah!" or a gentle "maybe"—delivering a sturdy "No" is a solid skill that helps preserve patience, connection, sanity.

Boundaries come in many flavors...

"My plate is full" helps honor our capacity while steering clear of resentment and regret.

"I'm not interested right now" offers distance from too-much-ness.

"No, thanks, I'm satisfied" expresses contentment without excuses.

Good News: Getting clear on what you need is an awesome first step!

But what about when we want someone else to STOP what they're doing?

Bad News: We can't control anyone else's behavior.

So, I give you: Say No BINGO...16 ways to hold the limits you need.

Because that is where we have agency.

BINGO board with a word bank for saying “No”

How you use this menu is totally up to you.

Try it in the kitchen...when you're making dinner and kids want cookies.

Use it in the car...when you need to pull over or pause for safety.

Bring it to sibling bickering...when they need more supervision to settle.

You are your best advocate, ally, and observer.

I hope having some language for protecting and communicating limits you need will empower you to experiment. And slow things down.

"No" is not magic. It's a buffer. It signals what is and is not OK with you.

Consider this...

• Only you know how much breathing room you need.

• You can bring a limit earlier. Or more often. Because YOU need it.

• What happens if you sit down instead of towering over them?

• What shifts if you bring the "No" proactively...instead of letting things go beyond your limit?

• Consistency is not Queen of all — limits can shift with your capacity.

I don't know what No's you need. I'm busy working on my own. But I'd love to hear what you discover and how you use your voice.

Isn't that what we want for our kids, too?

Confidence in their needs and empowerment to communicate them underlies a A LOT of what we ask them to practice with regulation and respectful communication.

Let's show them how it's done!